Is This a Friend? - Originally posted 01/11/05

An e-mail I received from one of my friends


Hi
I'm getting a bit tired of all those namby - pamby, girly, sissy,
completely wet "friendship" poems, that never come close to reality.
So, here are a series of promises that really speak of true
friendship:

1 When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry b*st*rd who made
you that way.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had
sex.

4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out of
you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to
stop your bloody whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use only little
words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again, I don't want whatever
you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
clumsiness.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end.

Why you may ask? Because you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends,
then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move.

A really good friend will help you move a body.

Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.