Words of Wisdom 2008

As the end of another year approaches I thought I would take a look at some Quotes that have been aired in public.

Here are some that I found interesting...

"As long as you don't include children, animals or vegetables."

Ken Livingstone lists off-bounds sexual practices.

"Sorry, I'm not qualified to land the plane."

Not exactly what you want to hear at 30,000 feet. From your pilot.

"I texted him and he texted back step-by-step instructions on how to do it."

Surgeon David Nott amputated a boy's limb after following instructions on his mobile phone.

"I hope the force will soon be with him."

A judge issues a warrant for a man who attacked two Star Wars fans while he was dressed as Darth Vader.

"Santa got attacked, one of the elves got smacked in the face and pushed in a pram."

Ex-security Adrian Wood admits Lapland New Forest had problems.

"I was just feeding the birds."

David Batchelor's explanation to Perth Sheriff Court as to why he was wearing a back-to-front thong in public.

"In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home."

Oscars presenter Jon Stewart on what goes on when the cameras switch to a commercial break.

"It was just a joke. I wanted to see if someone would make an offer."

Putting your baby up for sale on eBay was never going to be a good idea - as one German woman found out when the local authorities took the child away.

"Their pants no longer provide adequate support."

Jeremy Paxman complains about the quality of Marks and Spencer underwear.