Thursday, December 31, 2009

All Is Quiet

It looks like next year will be really quiet for me.

Over the last couple of months some people, well only men, have been saying that I am really aggressive or rude when I talk so I have decided to change my ways and try to be more agreeable and not voice my opinion.

This will be hard for me as I am used to saying what I think and I don't beat around the bush when I'm saying it. I say it how it is and, as I have found, people don't like to hear the truth in a straight forward way.

Here's to a very, very quiet 2010

Happy New Year everyone!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

What have men and buses got in common?

None come for ages then 3 come along at the same time!

I can spend the whole weekend, alone in my home without so much as a text from a man, then the next weekend I got 3 of them texting me asking 'What you up to later?' It's just a shame that out of the 3 that did text the one I wanted to text me wasn't one of them. :(

Oh well another weekend coming up, lets see what it brings.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Bad Boy

One of my favorite films is The Witches Of Eastwick. It was on TV tonight and it wasn't until I was watching it did I realise why I like it so much.

The Character played by Jack Nicholson, Daryl Van Horne, reminds me so much of someone I know and I could very easily be one of the witches

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Joy Boy or Toy Boy?

After watching X-Factor tonight I started thinking about a remark made by an old woman who sang on there. She said she wanted Simon Cowell as her Joy Boy.
So is there a difference between a joy boy and a toy boy? The first thing that comes to mind is age. A toy boy is younger than the woman.
There is a rule that can be used to work out if the man is a toy boy. It is called the Half-age-plus-seven relationship rule.

On the Urban dictionary web site they define a Joy Boy as:
Man or boy who seeks physical pleasure, or joy from other men, or boys.

I think maybe the woman may have got it a bit wrong and really meant Toy Boy but I guess if you had a man just to give you joy he could be any age as long as he can satisfy you sexually. Well it wouldn’t be a joy if he couldn’t.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Control? You Have None

I don’t believe in many things and I tend not to believe anything unless I can see it. That is except for fate. I believe everything you do in life is for a reason and the outcome of your actions are beyond your control. They are outcomes that will happen whatever you do. Your life has a path to take and nothing will sway it from that path.
Think you are in control? Think again.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Driving in Whitchurch, Bristol

Some of the rudest drivers in the country have got to be the ones that drive in Whitchurch, Bristol.

I take the same route home every day and I find the same thing happens every time. I have to come out of a side road, East Dundry Road, and turn right onto a more main road, Whitchurch Lane.

Whitchurch Lane is quite busy during rush hour and especially during term time as there is a school right on the junction. Lots of cars want to turn right off Whitchurch Lane and drive down the road I am trying to get out of. Do they let drivers out of the side road thus making it easier for them to turn into it? No they don't.

They don't care that you've been there, waiting, like a cat waiting to pounce on a mouse, or a painter waiting to give a wall a second coat of paint while the first coat is still tacky to touch. These people think they are better than me, sat in their big 4 wheel drive monsters while I am in my little, huggable, family size car.

They do say that manners make man, well people who drive down East Dundry Road you are no man. You are just little men in a big car trying to make up for the rude, impolite, arrogant, condescending, people you really are.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Good Times

When all my friends had Donny Osmond or The Osmonds on their bedroom walls I had Michael Jackson on mine. I watched as he turned from a sweet black kid, to a light coloured music master with the ability to captivate my attention as he danced on stage. I followed the stories about him in the press, never knowing what was the truth and what was really going on behind closed doors. Not that ever bothered me as it was his music I liked and not him as a person.

The first album I can remember buying of his was Music and Me. On Sundays I used to do the Ironing for my mum and I would play the record over and over again, which used to get on my older brother's nerves as he was a heavy rock fan. (Smiling as I remember)

I remember waiting at my friend house, with her dad, for the Thriller video to come on the TV. We sat transfixed as it played; we had never seen a music video like it before.

Well all that was the good old days when I never had a care in the world. I had not yet met my husband (now my ex) I had no kids to feed and I still lived at home with my dad. All I had to do was go to work so I would have money to go out at the weekends.

It seems like those times are returning. I have no husband, my kids are not kids any more and the only responsibility I have is keeping a roof over my head. I work just to pay the mortgage, which luckily for me isn't a lot, and to go out and have a good time.

As I started this with Michael Jackson I had better finish with him. I've been trying to think what my all time favourite song of his is and it is a toss up between You Are Not Alone and With a Child's Heart, from the first album I bought. There are others I really like to but too many to mention so I won’t. To be honest I like most of his songs and really it depends what mood I am in to which one I like the best. I think I must be in a sober mood this morning as the ones I have named are slow ones.

I'm rambling now so I'll stop here.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

It Just Happened

To say I didn't know how it happened would be a lie as would where it happened, but just quite when it happened I don't really remember. Was I drunk? Possibly. I know it would have been a weekend as I usually go out at weekends and when I go out the least I get is very merry. Which weekend? Well I could look in my diary and try to work it out but I'm not that good at putting things in there to start with, so the chances that I put this in there is quite minimal.

I know people say, 'There's no need for it. There's plenty of advertising out there to help you'' Also ''It's not as if you're a young teenager, you should know better''
The answer to all those people is, 'I know but it happened, just happened, wasn't planned'
Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions and make the most of it.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

I Love My Cherry

I have a challenge for fruit farmers all around the world. You can buy seedless grapes and pip-less oranges so where are the stone-less cherries?

I love cherries but they are so awkward to eat in public or anywhere for that matter. The hardest bit about eating cherries is finding the right ones. They have to be big, juicy, sweet and not too hard. Then you have the task, after you have eaten them, to find somewhere to put the stalks and stones. This can be hardest when driving. Yes you can have a rubbish bag to put them but all to often, after you put the first one in, the bag closes in on itself leaving you trying to open the bag whilst holding the wet sticky stone and trying to drive on a busy motorway.

Please can someone grow a stone-less cherry?

Friday, July 03, 2009

3 Women and an Angry Man

Our seats may be great for a football match but not to see Rod Stewart who was the other side of the pitch. This is a photo of the stage from my seat and although I had a great view of the big screen behind Rod I really like to see who's on stage in person not via a film camera. All that said he was brilliant. I've seen him live about 6 times and this concert was just as good as the very first one I went to. The sound wasn't very good to start with but that was soon sorted out and not long into the concert the whole ground was singing.

The event wasn't without its side entertainment. In our row were an older couple and in front of them were 3 middle aged women. The women insisted on standing up giving the couple behind them only a view of their back sides to look at. The couple put up with it for the first two songs but then the lady of the couple asked the women to sit down so they could see. There was some discussion between, first of all the couple and the 3 women and then the 3 women. In the end the 3 women agreed to sit down. When the forth song started the 3 women got to their feet again. The man of the couple lost it now and grabbed the women, who was sat directly in front of him, by the shoulders and shoved her back down in her seat. The women jumped back up and turned to face the man. If it wasn't for her friends stopping her she would have landed a nice punch on the man,s nose. An argument ensued and the 3 women ended up going down to the seated pitch area where they were able to stand and dance to their hearts content.

Just after half time another women appeared in one of the seats formally occupied by the 3 women. She was very drunk and she spent the second half either asleep or waving her arms around frantically, I don't think she knew where she was or why she was there but in her own little drunken world she was having a whale of a time

Just before the final song a man came along the row in front of us. He got to the drunken women and tried several ways to get past her without having to physically push her out of the way. He was fashioning a large back pack which seemed to be full and this wasn't making his task any easier. He managed to get past her and then made his way, unsteadily to the end of the row. The way in which he was walking I thought maybe he was disabled as he seemed to have difficulty walking straight. When he got onto the concrete steps it became apparent he was very drunk.

His first attempt to step down one step was unsuccessful. As he lifted his leg to step off he changed his mind and tried to stop. His body didn't realise this was his plan and tried to carry on off the edge of the step. For about 10 seconds he teetered on the edge of the step with all around him looking on. He was standing on row O so he had 15 steps like these to go until he reached the safety of the ground. We all held our breath until he had managed to sway and stumble his way to the bottom. He made it without falling but I'm not sure how he did this. The man beside me looked to me and said '' Didn't think he would make it. Good job he did, now I can get back to watching Rod''

And with that we all turned our attention back to the stage where Rod was giving us an encore.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Rod Stewart and Argyle!

Only another 2 days at work for me this week, I'm off to see Rod Stewart on Thursday. And to top it all he's playing at Plymouth Argyle Football Ground 'Home Park' so double joy for me.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Mind Altering Drugs

I've been thinking about boredom and the different kinds there are. You can be bored because you have nothing to do or you can be bored because there's nothing good on the TV. Well I'm bored of my mind. I'm bored because it never changes what it thinks about. I try to make it think about different things but it seems to come back to the same subject each time. I'll start off thinking about something, say, going on holiday or the next gig I am going to, but it always brings the subject back to the same thing. I've never used mind altering drugs but I'm beginning to think may be now is the time.

More Thought Needed

Have you ever got yourself into a situation you wish you never? Well I am in one of those now. Not only do I wish I never got myself into it but I’m asking myself why I got myself into it in the first place. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Short lived and easy. Unfortunately it’s not been short lived and not always easy and now it’s almost impossible to get out of.

You would think I would know better at my age but I seem to have made the same mistake only usually reserved for young people in their teens. Those young ones who still have spots and hang out in the local park. The ones who wait outside the shop for an adult who is willing to buy them a cheap bottle of cider.

It seems the saying live and learn is not only for the younger generation but for me too.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Newmarket. Not Just Horse Racing

The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard that Simply Red were coming to Cardiff. Cardiff, only being about an hours drive from Bristol, I decided I would go and see them. I logged onto my Ticket Master account, found the gig I wanted and clicked on the 'Buy Tickets' button.

I couldn't believe the price that was displayed on my screen! £200 per ticket!

Well I decided I didn’t really want to go after all and forgot all about it. That was until my daughter told me about Newmarket.

I know Newmarket as a place where horses race which then gets shown on the TV. I have been to the races once before but that was only Bath races and I won about £8 after taking out the cost to get in and the food and drink I had while I was there.

Anyway, getting back to what my daughter told me. Every weekend in July at Newmarket they have concerts after the racing and on 31st July guess who they have there? Yes you got it, Simply Red. Now an evening of racing and then a concert all at Newmarket race course you would expect it to be quite costly but it isn't. I was surprised and thought my daughter had got it wrong when she said it was £25. I went online to check. Yes only £25.

So for less than the cost to see Simply Red in Cardiff I have an evening of racing, a night watching Simply Red and a room and breakfast in a hotel. Oh and the best bit about it I've booked 2 days off work!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Jesus...Are You There?

Last night, after going to a friends and having one or two too many drinks, I had a telephone conversation with a friend about Jesus The friend, M, had also been out drinking meaning the conversation was quite like one you would hear just before last orders in a pub.

He said he was an atheist and I am an agnostic so the conversation wasn’t that religious but more about who Jesus was.

M argued that Jesus was a person but not the son of God and I argued how did he know any of it was true. I suggested to M that the bible was just a story and there must have been hundreds of men called Jesus at the time it was written and Jesus was just a name the author choose to put in the book like one would do today with a name like Dave or Pete.

As you can guess the conversation, although lasting about an hour, got nowhere, but I did go to sleep thinking about the man on the moon!

This the link below is for M. I hope it give him much joy reading it.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Bed.....Sleep or Think?

I have listened to the radio, when I go to bed, for several years now and I have often wondered why I do it. It’s not as though I really listen. I can’t remember what was on the night before when I wake up the next morning or even what presenter was talking.

When I look for a new clock radio I always have to have one with the sleep function so the radio isn’t playing aimlessly to someone who is busy snoring and I can go to bed with the radio playing and wake up to the buzzer. (I’m a really heavy sleeper and need the buzzer and the alarm on my phone to wake me)

About 2 months ago, maybe a bit longer, I bought a new clock radio (with the sleep function) and set about tuning in the station and setting the alarm. When I went to bed that night I pressed the sleep button and off I drifted to sleep. The next morning, to my surprise, the radio was still playing. I had slept through the buzzer and my alarm on my phone. I hurried out of bed quickly got ready for work and off I went.
That night I had a good look at my new clock radio and found out that if you go to bed listening to the radio, you can not have the buzzer as the alarm to wake you up in the morning.

Since then, up until last night, I have had to go to bed in silence, no radio, no boring voice sending me off to my dreams, just the quietness of the night and the occasional cat crying. Since then I have found it very difficult to fall asleep. With nothing to do but think, my mind goes into overdrive and I start thinking about anything and everything. Most of all I think about friends and what has been happening between us. My mind tends to exaggerate small things that may have been said or misinterpret what the actions of someone may have meant. By the time I do drift off to sleep most of my friends actions have analysed to such an extend that all I want to do is give them a mouth full of what I think of them next time I see them.

Last night I set my alarms as normal and then I got an old radio out and tuned it in. I turned it on very quietly and lay, waiting for my thoughts to take over. Before I knew it I was waking up, the radio still playing, but the buzzer on my clock radio going off too. It was time to get up and I hadn’t even remembered when I had fallen asleep. No thoughts kept me awake and my friends were still my friends.

Now I know why I listen to the radio when I go to bed.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Hope and Dreams

Have you ever had to make a decision that even just thinking about it makes you feel sick? Well I have one of those decisions to make. I know what I should do but just can't bring myself to do it. There is only one thing stopping me but that one thing is emotionally hard for me to take. I have talked to my friends about it and they all said go for it but........

I've been listening to all my favourite songs today and most of them are soppy ones and that has not helped the situation at all. I'm not sure what the hold is, although I know its there, that is stopping me and I know I won't be happy if I don't make the decision but I don't want to take the risk of being unhappy for a little while so the rest of my life will be a happy one. There is no future for me if I don't make the decision and I tell myself this each day but I still can't bring myself to make it. I seem to be living a life of hope and dreams but deep down I know I need to say enough is enough and decide.

I'll let you know when and if I've been brave enough to make it.


After writing the above I read my stars and below is what was said:

It might feel as if an era is coming to a close today, but it's really not anything that big. Still, your life is changing as you respond to the cooling of someone's energy. Keep in mind that everything goes through phases. Allow others the personal space to retreat emotionally without turning the situation into a melodrama based on your fear of abandonment.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Now if that isn't an omen I don't know what is!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Why Social Work?

I met up with a friend on Friday and they asked why I hadn't updated my blog. I said I just couldn't think of anything to write about. Over the weekend I have been doing some thinking and this morning I decided what it would be.

The question I get asked the most is 'Why did you become a social worker?' and so I thought this may be a good place to get back into my writing.

I opened a word document and started to write. I had planned just a short piece, just the outline of why really but soon realised that I was, in fact, writing my whole work history. As I am 50 and have always worked, apart from taking a few months off when I had my children, you can imagine its not the short piece I set out to write so I have decided I am going to leave putting it on my blog for now and see where it takes me.

All I have to do now is thing is something else to write.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

RIP Frank

Once again I have been reminded how precious life is and how everyone should make the most of everyday.

My friends father died this morning and although some may say it's a blessing for him, for those left behind it's now an empty, aching, void in their hearts.

His life had not been the same since his wife, my friends mum, died 2 years ago. He suffered a stroke not long after that and went to live with his son who became his carer 24/7.

My thoughts are with all his family who I know will miss him a great deal.

RIP Frank

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Book Ending

Being a book is not that easy to take to start with but if looked after and read properly it can be a good learning experience.

Unfortunately not many people know how to look after books. They tend to pick them up, get their enjoyment from a couple of chapters and drop them down again. They then leave them with a bookmark in, just so they know where they left them, not picking them up again until they want to, having no consideration for the book itself at all.

You would think once the book was read cover to cover, the reader would understand what the book was about and the meaning behind the book.

Some books are so complicated that no amount of reading would enlighten you to it's meaning. You pick it up read the same chapter over and over again, read the beginning and then the end and then move on to the next one, giving up on ever finding out what the message is.

However there are other books which are so tiresome you don't even want to know what they are trying to say or want to finish reading it so you just put it down, after getting to the forth chapter, never to pick it up again. The book itself has no idea why it's been discarded and is left on a shelf somewhere gathering dust just hoping that one day it will understand why or hope the reader will find the strength to tell them why.

I've just finished the book I was reading. It was full of adventure, misunderstandings, fun and was a little bit naughty. To say it has changed my life would be an exaggeration but it has opened up some new ways of thinking and has left me wanting more. But there isn't going to be a sequel and I've decided to give the book away so I won’t be reading it again. It didn’t have a happy ending and even now, every time I think about it I feel sad. My next book will be a much happier one, something like Jade Goody's ''Parting Words'' or Amy Winehouse's ''The Time I Spent in Rehab''.

If you're the lucky person who reads my last book next, take good care of it, it's the best book I have ever read.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend.

"Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?""

Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Monday, March 02, 2009

Drink Driving, Cheating Husbands

How often do you hear the words 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone'?

I seem to be using the phrase a lot lately, sometimes saying it to myself about something I have done or said, but mostly about something someone else is saying.

I am well known by my friends to 'tell it how it is', honest, upfront and to the point. This can be challenging for some to accept, especially some men I know. I'm not sure if I hurt their ego or if they just think they are perfect, but they just don't seem to recognise the truth even when told to them face to face.

I do understand that words can be very hurtful and even if you say nothing, that can also be hurtful, so I do try to be diplomatic so not too unnecessarily hurt someone, but it doesn't always work out how I want.

There are a group of people at the moment, mostly men, who think nothing of talking behind my back, questioning my honesty with something they are all involved in. There is one man who is stirring them all up and 'spreading the word' of how I am fixing the thing they are involved in. This man was found out the other week. He had told me something and I found out what he had told me was lies and since this he has made it his business to dirty my name on every occasion he can. He even put a cryptic message on his status on facebook about me.

If I wanted I could make life quite difficult for a lot of these men. I could start telling some truths about them. I could tell their wives / partners that most of them have asked me to sleep with them, but I wouldn't. I could have reported most of them for drink driving, but I haven't. I am not a vindictive person and I get no joy out of seeing someone else get hurt. I just wish people would look at their own principles and honestly before questioning mine.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Back-up CD - What Will You Find?

I was looking at some old back-up cd's and found this on one of them. I'm not sure what it is or why I have it but I thought the words were quite good. Anyone know where it comes from?


sit and stare silently,
is she still a mistake?
did you see her thoughts,
open in her eyes?
she thought the same of you
didn't want to tell you.

If you still feel the same,
three words will fix it
tell her the truth,
set you both free.

You're not a mistake now,
she just lives in fear.
waiting for this day,
the day of doubt to come.

Don't wait to be asked,
clear up this confusion.
end it now,
she won't collapse and die
No matter what you want
tell her the truth

is she still a mistake?
was it only the distance,
the one that doesn't exist?
spontaneously you say this to her,
expect no questions,
you can't be serious?

Don't leave her thinking
like a tumour in her brain
wearing down her thoughts
just tell it to her straight
leave the sugarcoating
that she doesn't need

Don't push her here
in her mind alone
don't make her think this through
just tell it to her straight
set you both free.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Phone Key Tapping

Its strange how one minute you can be happy and having a great time and the next, because of one small thing, you can be feeling sad, upset and let down.
Emotions are things we can't control however hard we try.

I was out Saturday night, determined to have a good time because I haven't been out in ages. I had a couple of vodka's and was happy just watching everyone else generally having a good time. The place was packed with more people than I had seen in there for ages. I was laughing and joking with friends and catching up with people I hadn't seen in a while when I received a text message.

Now I'm not too sure if I've told you before but, my new year's resolution was to delete the numbers off my phone who I usually texted when I am drunk, and so when the message came up with just a number I wasn't sure who it was from. Then I read the text. It was just one word but I knew straight away it was from one of the numbers I had deleted. I was happy that I had received the text and I send one back.

Answering the text was a big mistake. After a few texts to and fro and one phone call, my night had turned from a carefree, happy one into a miserable, I wish I hadn't come out, type of night.

I'm not too sure what I did wrong or what I said that was so wrong, maybe a few truths, I can't remember, but it ended up with him texting me that I was annoying him and me deleting his number once again.

If you have my number you know me well enough not to text me if you don't want me to text you back.

I'm out again next Saturday but my phone will be staying home.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Too Much Spooks and Not Enough Adam

Adam, who was killed off in the first one I watched

My weekend was spent watching several episodes of Spooks which I had recorded earlier in the year. I started watching them last weekend but was interrupted by a friend needing me, so had to put them on pause while I tended to his needs.

I got to the last one and didn't really want to watch it. What would I do after it had finished? I do have Spooks Code 9 recorded too, but it isn't the same. I pressed play on the VBox and started watching as London was under threat of a nuclear attack and the Spooks team had a team of Russian killers, mostly dressed in black, after them. armed with hand and machine guns.
Of course everything turned out well and the only person related to the Spooks team who was killed was the traitor Connie James, but even she saved London before she was blown up by the bomb.
I paused the box several times during the episode, not wanting it to end but of course, there are only so many cups of coffee one can drink in an hour, eventually the end was near.
Harry was in the London head quarters of Russian operations and waiting for word from his team that the bomb had been disarmed of it's nuclear power. However, as most of the action took place in a disused underground, the signal to the highly sophisticated communication system used by the team was broken meaning Harry was isolated with his hosts, who, before he told them about the bomb, were trying to kill him.

One of the team did try to phone him and the scene switched from the underground station to the boot of a car. The boot opened, and there was Harry, mouth bound with tape and hands tied. In the back ground you could hear some sort of air machine, not sure if it was an aeroplane or a helicopter, and that’s where it ended.
I can't wait for the next series but until then I'll have to watch the code 9's I have recorded. It wasn't the same without Adam anyway.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Sleeping With The Script

I've been in bed for about 2 hours now and still can't sleep. It could have something to do with the music I'm listening to. I love The Script at the moment, I saw them in Bristol when they were the support to The Hoosiers, and think the words to their songs are lovely. So maybe listening to the words and not just the music is where I'm going wrong.

This is one of my favorites.

I'm Yours - The Script