Jesus...Are You There?

Last night, after going to a friends and having one or two too many drinks, I had a telephone conversation with a friend about Jesus The friend, M, had also been out drinking meaning the conversation was quite like one you would hear just before last orders in a pub.

He said he was an atheist and I am an agnostic so the conversation wasn’t that religious but more about who Jesus was.

M argued that Jesus was a person but not the son of God and I argued how did he know any of it was true. I suggested to M that the bible was just a story and there must have been hundreds of men called Jesus at the time it was written and Jesus was just a name the author choose to put in the book like one would do today with a name like Dave or Pete.

As you can guess the conversation, although lasting about an hour, got nowhere, but I did go to sleep thinking about the man on the moon!

This the link below is for M. I hope it give him much joy reading it.

http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/

Bed.....Sleep or Think?

I have listened to the radio, when I go to bed, for several years now and I have often wondered why I do it. It’s not as though I really listen. I can’t remember what was on the night before when I wake up the next morning or even what presenter was talking.

When I look for a new clock radio I always have to have one with the sleep function so the radio isn’t playing aimlessly to someone who is busy snoring and I can go to bed with the radio playing and wake up to the buzzer. (I’m a really heavy sleeper and need the buzzer and the alarm on my phone to wake me)

About 2 months ago, maybe a bit longer, I bought a new clock radio (with the sleep function) and set about tuning in the station and setting the alarm. When I went to bed that night I pressed the sleep button and off I drifted to sleep. The next morning, to my surprise, the radio was still playing. I had slept through the buzzer and my alarm on my phone. I hurried out of bed quickly got ready for work and off I went.
That night I had a good look at my new clock radio and found out that if you go to bed listening to the radio, you can not have the buzzer as the alarm to wake you up in the morning.

Since then, up until last night, I have had to go to bed in silence, no radio, no boring voice sending me off to my dreams, just the quietness of the night and the occasional cat crying. Since then I have found it very difficult to fall asleep. With nothing to do but think, my mind goes into overdrive and I start thinking about anything and everything. Most of all I think about friends and what has been happening between us. My mind tends to exaggerate small things that may have been said or misinterpret what the actions of someone may have meant. By the time I do drift off to sleep most of my friends actions have analysed to such an extend that all I want to do is give them a mouth full of what I think of them next time I see them.

Last night I set my alarms as normal and then I got an old radio out and tuned it in. I turned it on very quietly and lay, waiting for my thoughts to take over. Before I knew it I was waking up, the radio still playing, but the buzzer on my clock radio going off too. It was time to get up and I hadn’t even remembered when I had fallen asleep. No thoughts kept me awake and my friends were still my friends.

Now I know why I listen to the radio when I go to bed.

Hope and Dreams

Have you ever had to make a decision that even just thinking about it makes you feel sick? Well I have one of those decisions to make. I know what I should do but just can't bring myself to do it. There is only one thing stopping me but that one thing is emotionally hard for me to take. I have talked to my friends about it and they all said go for it but........

I've been listening to all my favourite songs today and most of them are soppy ones and that has not helped the situation at all. I'm not sure what the hold is, although I know its there, that is stopping me and I know I won't be happy if I don't make the decision but I don't want to take the risk of being unhappy for a little while so the rest of my life will be a happy one. There is no future for me if I don't make the decision and I tell myself this each day but I still can't bring myself to make it. I seem to be living a life of hope and dreams but deep down I know I need to say enough is enough and decide.

I'll let you know when and if I've been brave enough to make it.

................................................................................................................

After writing the above I read my stars and below is what was said:


It might feel as if an era is coming to a close today, but it's really not anything that big. Still, your life is changing as you respond to the cooling of someone's energy. Keep in mind that everything goes through phases. Allow others the personal space to retreat emotionally without turning the situation into a melodrama based on your fear of abandonment.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Now if that isn't an omen I don't know what is!

Changes

I've been looking at some old photos of different people I know. Some I knew when the old photos were taken and some I didn't. The ones I did know jogged old memories of the good time we were having when the photo was taken, whereas the ones of people I didn't know before, were quite a shock. I don't think if they looked like that today I would recognise them at all. Some who don't have hair now, use to, some use to be larger and are now smaller and some that use to be smaller are a lot larger. Of course one thing all the photos have in common is, everyone used to be younger and now they are older. In some cases, a lot older.

Many of the people I still see, but a few I have lost contact with. Either by chance or because one or both of us didn't keep in touch and sometimes you don't even know the reason why.

Me, I am really rubbish at remembering peoples names. I can see someone in the street, know that I know them but for the life of me, no matter how much I try, I can't recall a single thing about them, not even where I know them from. This has made me quite an expert in answering questions without having to reveal how crap my memory is. It can however backfire and you just have to admit to the person, even though it may hurt their feelings to know they were not as important to you as they thought, you just can't remember who they are.

So if you are one of those people I have known in the past, sorry if I can't remember you. And if you meet me in the future, Make sure I take a photo of you and write your name on it or you may find yourself as one of the memories that got away.