Rod Stewart and Argyle!

Only another 2 days at work for me this week, I'm off to see Rod Stewart on Thursday. And to top it all he's playing at Plymouth Argyle Football Ground 'Home Park' so double joy for me.

Mind Altering Drugs

I've been thinking about boredom and the different kinds there are. You can be bored because you have nothing to do or you can be bored because there's nothing good on the TV. Well I'm bored of my mind. I'm bored because it never changes what it thinks about. I try to make it think about different things but it seems to come back to the same subject each time. I'll start off thinking about something, say, going on holiday or the next gig I am going to, but it always brings the subject back to the same thing. I've never used mind altering drugs but I'm beginning to think may be now is the time.

More Thought Needed

Have you ever got yourself into a situation you wish you never? Well I am in one of those now. Not only do I wish I never got myself into it but I’m asking myself why I got myself into it in the first place. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Short lived and easy. Unfortunately it’s not been short lived and not always easy and now it’s almost impossible to get out of.

You would think I would know better at my age but I seem to have made the same mistake only usually reserved for young people in their teens. Those young ones who still have spots and hang out in the local park. The ones who wait outside the shop for an adult who is willing to buy them a cheap bottle of cider.

It seems the saying live and learn is not only for the younger generation but for me too.

Newmarket. Not Just Horse Racing

The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard that Simply Red were coming to Cardiff. Cardiff, only being about an hours drive from Bristol, I decided I would go and see them. I logged onto my Ticket Master account, found the gig I wanted and clicked on the 'Buy Tickets' button.

I couldn't believe the price that was displayed on my screen! £200 per ticket!

Well I decided I didn’t really want to go after all and forgot all about it. That was until my daughter told me about Newmarket.

I know Newmarket as a place where horses race which then gets shown on the TV. I have been to the races once before but that was only Bath races and I won about £8 after taking out the cost to get in and the food and drink I had while I was there.

Anyway, getting back to what my daughter told me. Every weekend in July at Newmarket they have concerts after the racing and on 31st July guess who they have there? Yes you got it, Simply Red. Now an evening of racing and then a concert all at Newmarket race course you would expect it to be quite costly but it isn't. I was surprised and thought my daughter had got it wrong when she said it was £25. I went online to check. Yes only £25.

So for less than the cost to see Simply Red in Cardiff I have an evening of racing, a night watching Simply Red and a room and breakfast in a hotel. Oh and the best bit about it I've booked 2 days off work!

Jesus...Are You There?

Last night, after going to a friends and having one or two too many drinks, I had a telephone conversation with a friend about Jesus The friend, M, had also been out drinking meaning the conversation was quite like one you would hear just before last orders in a pub.

He said he was an atheist and I am an agnostic so the conversation wasn’t that religious but more about who Jesus was.

M argued that Jesus was a person but not the son of God and I argued how did he know any of it was true. I suggested to M that the bible was just a story and there must have been hundreds of men called Jesus at the time it was written and Jesus was just a name the author choose to put in the book like one would do today with a name like Dave or Pete.

As you can guess the conversation, although lasting about an hour, got nowhere, but I did go to sleep thinking about the man on the moon!

This the link below is for M. I hope it give him much joy reading it.

http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/

Bed.....Sleep or Think?

I have listened to the radio, when I go to bed, for several years now and I have often wondered why I do it. It’s not as though I really listen. I can’t remember what was on the night before when I wake up the next morning or even what presenter was talking.

When I look for a new clock radio I always have to have one with the sleep function so the radio isn’t playing aimlessly to someone who is busy snoring and I can go to bed with the radio playing and wake up to the buzzer. (I’m a really heavy sleeper and need the buzzer and the alarm on my phone to wake me)

About 2 months ago, maybe a bit longer, I bought a new clock radio (with the sleep function) and set about tuning in the station and setting the alarm. When I went to bed that night I pressed the sleep button and off I drifted to sleep. The next morning, to my surprise, the radio was still playing. I had slept through the buzzer and my alarm on my phone. I hurried out of bed quickly got ready for work and off I went.
That night I had a good look at my new clock radio and found out that if you go to bed listening to the radio, you can not have the buzzer as the alarm to wake you up in the morning.

Since then, up until last night, I have had to go to bed in silence, no radio, no boring voice sending me off to my dreams, just the quietness of the night and the occasional cat crying. Since then I have found it very difficult to fall asleep. With nothing to do but think, my mind goes into overdrive and I start thinking about anything and everything. Most of all I think about friends and what has been happening between us. My mind tends to exaggerate small things that may have been said or misinterpret what the actions of someone may have meant. By the time I do drift off to sleep most of my friends actions have analysed to such an extend that all I want to do is give them a mouth full of what I think of them next time I see them.

Last night I set my alarms as normal and then I got an old radio out and tuned it in. I turned it on very quietly and lay, waiting for my thoughts to take over. Before I knew it I was waking up, the radio still playing, but the buzzer on my clock radio going off too. It was time to get up and I hadn’t even remembered when I had fallen asleep. No thoughts kept me awake and my friends were still my friends.

Now I know why I listen to the radio when I go to bed.

Hope and Dreams

Have you ever had to make a decision that even just thinking about it makes you feel sick? Well I have one of those decisions to make. I know what I should do but just can't bring myself to do it. There is only one thing stopping me but that one thing is emotionally hard for me to take. I have talked to my friends about it and they all said go for it but........

I've been listening to all my favourite songs today and most of them are soppy ones and that has not helped the situation at all. I'm not sure what the hold is, although I know its there, that is stopping me and I know I won't be happy if I don't make the decision but I don't want to take the risk of being unhappy for a little while so the rest of my life will be a happy one. There is no future for me if I don't make the decision and I tell myself this each day but I still can't bring myself to make it. I seem to be living a life of hope and dreams but deep down I know I need to say enough is enough and decide.

I'll let you know when and if I've been brave enough to make it.

................................................................................................................

After writing the above I read my stars and below is what was said:


It might feel as if an era is coming to a close today, but it's really not anything that big. Still, your life is changing as you respond to the cooling of someone's energy. Keep in mind that everything goes through phases. Allow others the personal space to retreat emotionally without turning the situation into a melodrama based on your fear of abandonment.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Now if that isn't an omen I don't know what is!

Why Social Work?

I met up with a friend on Friday and they asked why I hadn't updated my blog. I said I just couldn't think of anything to write about. Over the weekend I have been doing some thinking and this morning I decided what it would be.

The question I get asked the most is 'Why did you become a social worker?' and so I thought this may be a good place to get back into my writing.

I opened a word document and started to write. I had planned just a short piece, just the outline of why really but soon realised that I was, in fact, writing my whole work history. As I am 50 and have always worked, apart from taking a few months off when I had my children, you can imagine its not the short piece I set out to write so I have decided I am going to leave putting it on my blog for now and see where it takes me.

All I have to do now is thing is something else to write.

RIP Frank

Once again I have been reminded how precious life is and how everyone should make the most of everyday.

My friends father died this morning and although some may say it's a blessing for him, for those left behind it's now an empty, aching, void in their hearts.

His life had not been the same since his wife, my friends mum, died 2 years ago. He suffered a stroke not long after that and went to live with his son who became his carer 24/7.

My thoughts are with all his family who I know will miss him a great deal.

RIP Frank

Book Ending

Being a book is not that easy to take to start with but if looked after and read properly it can be a good learning experience.

Unfortunately not many people know how to look after books. They tend to pick them up, get their enjoyment from a couple of chapters and drop them down again. They then leave them with a bookmark in, just so they know where they left them, not picking them up again until they want to, having no consideration for the book itself at all.

You would think once the book was read cover to cover, the reader would understand what the book was about and the meaning behind the book.

Some books are so complicated that no amount of reading would enlighten you to it's meaning. You pick it up read the same chapter over and over again, read the beginning and then the end and then move on to the next one, giving up on ever finding out what the message is.

However there are other books which are so tiresome you don't even want to know what they are trying to say or want to finish reading it so you just put it down, after getting to the forth chapter, never to pick it up again. The book itself has no idea why it's been discarded and is left on a shelf somewhere gathering dust just hoping that one day it will understand why or hope the reader will find the strength to tell them why.

I've just finished the book I was reading. It was full of adventure, misunderstandings, fun and was a little bit naughty. To say it has changed my life would be an exaggeration but it has opened up some new ways of thinking and has left me wanting more. But there isn't going to be a sequel and I've decided to give the book away so I won’t be reading it again. It didn’t have a happy ending and even now, every time I think about it I feel sad. My next book will be a much happier one, something like Jade Goody's ''Parting Words'' or Amy Winehouse's ''The Time I Spent in Rehab''.

If you're the lucky person who reads my last book next, take good care of it, it's the best book I have ever read.