Words of Wisdom 2008

As the end of another year approaches I thought I would take a look at some Quotes that have been aired in public.

Here are some that I found interesting...

"As long as you don't include children, animals or vegetables."

Ken Livingstone lists off-bounds sexual practices.

"Sorry, I'm not qualified to land the plane."

Not exactly what you want to hear at 30,000 feet. From your pilot.

"I texted him and he texted back step-by-step instructions on how to do it."

Surgeon David Nott amputated a boy's limb after following instructions on his mobile phone.

"I hope the force will soon be with him."

A judge issues a warrant for a man who attacked two Star Wars fans while he was dressed as Darth Vader.

"Santa got attacked, one of the elves got smacked in the face and pushed in a pram."

Ex-security Adrian Wood admits Lapland New Forest had problems.

"I was just feeding the birds."

David Batchelor's explanation to Perth Sheriff Court as to why he was wearing a back-to-front thong in public.

"In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home."

Oscars presenter Jon Stewart on what goes on when the cameras switch to a commercial break.

"It was just a joke. I wanted to see if someone would make an offer."

Putting your baby up for sale on eBay was never going to be a good idea - as one German woman found out when the local authorities took the child away.

"Their pants no longer provide adequate support."

Jeremy Paxman complains about the quality of Marks and Spencer underwear.

Beryl Cook and Plymouth Argyle - What More Could I Ask!

I received my first Christmas present yesterday. A trip to Plymouth to see a Beryl Cook Exhibition and watch Plymouth Argyle play Birmingham.



The Exhibition was good, with a video playing which showed two interviews with Beryl Cook. There were lots of paintings there which I had never seen before and lots which made me smile. Of course I couldn't leave without buying something, Unfortunately all the signed prints were too expensive for me to buy, ranging from £700 upwards, so I ended up with lots of cards which I will be putting into a frame and hanging, pride of place, in my sitting room.

Plymouth Argyle played really well, getting most of the play throughout the match, but just couldn't manage a goal. Birmingham were on the back foot most of the match, although they did play a little better in the second half. The only goal of the match came in the 61st minute. Birmingham had only one attempt on goal before this, their second attempt found the back of the net.

On the way home, my daughter and I talked about the match and I concluded I was both happy and disappointed with the game. Happy that we had played so well but disappointed that we had lost.

Roll on Boxing day when we will be down at Home Park to watch Plymouth Argyle take on Southampton.

Ian Robins - I'll Miss You

The first time I met Ian was with a large group of people who were all strangers to each other. We had all joined a chat site and decided we would go out on the piss in Bristol. That was about 4 years ago and most of us are still friends to this day. One of the ladies even came down from Liverpool for the weekend and stayed for free at a hotel where one of the other people in the group worked.

Yesterday I received a message on facebook from a lady called Emma. The message read:

''Hi Viv, I know you drink at the space as i have seen you there. I just wanted to say that i have been spending time with Ian Robins over the last 8 weeks and i wanted to know if you have heard about what happened...''

My first thoughts was that he had been in an accident as he is a keen bike rider so I messaged Emma back

''Hi Emma. No I haven't heard from Ian for a while. Is everything ok?''

Emma replied by asking me to phone her.

My heart sank. I knew it had to be something bad but I wasn't prepared for what Emma was about to tell me.

Ian had died last Friday morning.

After some questions of how and why, I thanked Emma for letting me know.

Ian and I had spoken in the past about his family and his love for his children and I still can't quite believe that he is gone.

I will always remember Ian for being a happy, fun person who loved the open country side and used to make me laugh so much. I will truly miss you Ian

Hot Stuff

I've just come back from my hols in turkey and it was so hot. I went with family and friends and although the place we went was not quite what I was expecting we still had a great time.

I took lots of photo's and video, which I am still trying to upload to my pc, not sure why but my camcorder is not recognised.

My brother went paragliding from 6000 ft, jumping off a huge mountain and landing in one piece about 45 minutes later. I think he was really brave. You wouldn't see me jumping off a low wall let alone somewhere in the sky too high to see with the naked eye. He took some nice video on the way down and I managed to get him coming into land by the beach.

Another video I managed to get was of my niece on the last night. She was very drunk and we've threatened to post it on Utube!

Anyway more about my holiday when I get the video to work.

I Need A Date!!

I've decided that I can't go to my 50th birthday party in October alone so I'm looking for a date.

It has to be a man and he has to like a drink, (I can't stand getting drunk alone) I smoke so it has to be someone that either smokes or really doesn't mind me smoking.

He would also have to like dancing, slow or fast I don't mind as long as he moves!

Ideally he would be younger than me as I find older men quite boring on dates plus they don't seem to have the energy younger men have.

I don't like fat men or thin men so he would have to be somewhere in the middle.

He would have to be someone who isn't expecting sex after the party. For one thing I would have had far too much to drink and more importantly I don't do casual sex!

Sound like you or someone you know? Great! Email me and I'll let you know more details.

The Man In Space

I've promised to put some info on here about my local pub so here it is


The Man In Space.
Bristol

Friendly pub in Stockwood Bristol
Entertainment every Saturday
Skittles and Darts teams
Serving food everyday
Live Sport



Skittle Alley available Thursday nights from 1st September
No Alley fees.
Food provided on match nights.



SKITTLE ALLEY/FUNCTION ROOM FOR HIRE

Friday/Saturday Evenings £50
Sunday Daytime £30
Sunday Evenings £40
Weekday Evenings £40



LOUNGE BAR AVAILABLE FOR HIRE

Friday/Saturday £40
Weekdays £25


We can cater for you or you may bring you own buffet.
Please call in or telephone to view and discuss availability.

Ladies wanted for new darts team. Playing Tuesday nights. Friendly and fun.

See Chris for more details

Entertainment this Saturday

TARA DAVIES
Great Singer - One Night Only At The Space

Ebay Cheat Goes On Sale

It's been ages since I wrote anything on here, in fact it was my ex's birthday, not that I remembered that at the time.

Anyway, not much has happened to inspire me to write but I did happen on something today which I found funny. I know not all of you will think it funny but then if we were all alike the world would be quite crap.

Take a look at the image below and be warned, next time you're thinking of cheating it could be you!

Dog's Day Out

It's been a busy week for one of the puppies. Wendy, Ollie's new owner, had entered him for two shows. One Easter Monday and the other today.

Everything was new to both him and Wendy and they both coped very well.

At the first show Ollie was in a class with about 9 other dogs, some of which had been showing themselves off for years. Ollie, being a very lively dog, thought he was there to play with all the other dogs in the ring and as he walked around first tried to play with the dog in front of him and then the one behind him but they were having none of it.

The judge picked out about 5 dogs to stay in the ring but unfortunately Ollie wasn't one of them but he did do well for his first ever show.

Today we went to Shepton Mallet, Bath and West Show Ground. I had asked Wendy to phone me at 7.15am to wake me up so I wouldn't be late to pick her up at 8.30. I left home at 8 giving myself 30 minutes to do the 30 minute journey to her home, even in the Saturday morning traffic that would be plenty. Well it would have been if I hadn't got lost again.

When I did arrive at her home it was nearer to 9am and I was panicking. Wendy lives near the M5 and so we had to go straight across to the other side of Bristol to get onto the A37 and once on the right road we still had the drive to Shepton Mallet.

We arrived at the show ground with about 10 minutes to spare. We quickly put the table up, Wendy did Ollie's hair and they were off, into the ring, to show off to the judge.

There were 5 dogs in the class and they were all puppies, but only one was younger than Ollie so Ollie was still at some disadvantage.

He walk around the ring like he owned the place. Head high and proud and tail up and over his back, just as it should be, he looked lovely. Then came the time to put him on the table so the judge could have a good look at him.

He stood and waited for her and as she approached he decided she was a long lost friend and jumped up at her, tail wagging so fast his hair was going everywhere.

The judge tried to calm him by talking to him but this made him worse and so after a quick look Wendy was asked to walk him around the ring again and then back in line with the other dogs.

The judge took her time, looking at all the dogs again and then she picked out the winner, then the 2nd placed and 3rd. She then turned and picked Ollie, he had come 4th. Wendy was very happy with the placing and Ollie was just Ollie, trying to play with any dog which come within smelling distance.

Now sat at home and watching my two puppies, nicked named the terrible twins, I wonder if they will ever be ready to go into the show ring or am I doomed to have two hairy dogs that never grow up!

Ollie's Family

Why?

Today I went swimming in a local public pool. There were two little girls, about 5 years old, in the pool with a woman, I don't know if it was their mum but I suspect it was.

We were in the pool for about 15 minutes just swimming up and down, then up and down again, when I noticed the two girls were in the pool without the woman. As I reached the end of the pool they were in, I looked to the side of the pool and the woman was there, stood under the shower, not taking any notice of the girls in the water. The girls were playing happily and making lots of noise like young children do.

After some persuasion, from the woman, the two girls got out and went and joined the woman under the shower. I carried on swimming back up to the other end of the pool. On my way back down I could hear the girls still to the side of the pool and as I got to the end of the pool I could see them, standing under the shower, the woman was just going out of sight around into the changing rooms.

The two little girls were now stood under the shower with no clothes on. I watched as a man got out of the pool and went and stood under the shower next to the girls. He was there for no more than 5 seconds and then moved off into the changing room, glancing at the girls on the way.

Five minutes past and there was no sign of the woman's return and not wanting it to seem I was staring at the girls I decided to do another up and down of the pool taking about 3-4 minutes. The girls were still there, naked, with no adult with them, stood playing under the shower.

Several other people had gotten out of the pool while I was swimming and the only way from the pool to the changing rooms was past the girls. After about another 2 minutes the woman came back holding a towel and the girls, after a little while, went to join her and walked into the changing room with her.

The situation this woman put these two girls in was quite concerning to me.

Why, when there are private showers in the changing rooms, would she leave them there, in a very vulnerable state? This is a public swimming pool and so the woman would not have known what sort of people were using the pool.

Why take off their swim suits, leaving their small bodies exposed to anyone who wanted to look at them?

Why take any chances with children when there are so many unsavoury people living around us?

These are questions I would have liked to have asked her and if I was at work I would have. I would have told her about the 5 year old girl I interviewed once and had tears rolling down my face by the time she had finished telling me about her trip to the seaside with her 'uncle'

I hope next time she takes them swimming she thinks twice about who else may be in the pool and the importance of keeping her children safe.

Take a look at Child abusers 'slipping through' vetting system

Lyrics To Remember

When I listen to music I always try to listen to the lyrics, sometimes this is impossible as I can't understand a word that's being sung.
Anyway I thought I would copy some lyrics from songs I have heard and liked and mean something to me or someone I know.

The Best Days Of My Life
Your whispering girls said don't be a fool
don't give into him
He's an animal
treat you like dirt then he'll turn you in
You two are not compatible
It'll never never last
They said I wasn't even suitable
But you're giving me honestly
the best days of my life

Don't Stop Me Now (so like my dad used to be)
Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball.
Don't stop me now, if you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now (cause Im havin a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes Im havin a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

Three Times A Lady (one that reminds me of my mum)
Thanks for the times That you've given me
The memories are all in my mind
And now that we've come to the end of our rainbow
There's something I must say out loud
You're once, twice, three times a lady
Yes you're once, twice, three times a lady
And I love you
I love you

Some Of Us
Heard you today, that isn't my name, you were fast asleep,
forget what he did, can I be the kid for your soul to keep.
Some of us laugh, some of us cry,
some of us smoke, some of us lie,
but it's all just the way that we cope with our lives.

Cannonbal
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Seems Like A Long Time
War time is only the other side of peace time
but if you've ever seen how wars are won
you know what it's like to wish peace time would come
And don't it seem like a long time
seem like a long time, seems like a long, long time

Reason To Believe
If I listened long enough to you
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe

Everytime I think of some lyrics I have to listen to the song and this is taking forever so I'm giving up here and going to bed.

Now only one more decision to make, What shall I listen to in bed?

Hotmail Anyone?

I was just sat looking at my contacts on messenger and I've just realised that I have someone on there twice but with different names. I have seen them sign in with one of the names a lot but the other name is hardly used, the one they talk to me with. This doesn't bother me too much as, although I do sign into MSN, it is usually just to check my emails and get notified when I have a new email. I usually sign in as 'appear off line' as I am usually in the middle of something and don't want to be disturbed.

All this got me thinking, I know I don't usually think a lot and especially being a Sunday, usually not at all, but today was different.

I have 5 MSN addresses. 2 of the addresses are for official type stuff and 1 is the one I use on public websites, like this one and for messenger. The other 2 are for sites you need to sign up to with an email address but you don't want anyone else to know that you have done this. I wonder what they could be :-).

Anyway back to my thinking.

I was wondering how many other people have several web addresses and what they use them for?

Do comment and let me know or all of my thinking on a Sunday would be for nothing.

Heart Attack Scare

Earlier this week my brother had a heart attack and gave us all a big fright. After spending a couple of days in hospital and having two blockages cleared he is back at home now, hopefully taking it a bit easier.

So this is for Ivor, my brother:

Jedi Thoughts

Every day this week I have found myself thinking it's a day further on that it really is.

Yesterday I thought it was Thursday all day and when I woke up this morning I thought it was Friday.

It's not as if I haven't had anything to do on certain days either. Tuesday I had a medical appointment and yesterday I had to go and see a lady regarding my work. Today I have some training this afternoon and tomorrow I'm having my hair done. So why is it that all my days are mixed up but I still know what I am doing?

One reason I thought could account for this is, Monday night I met up with an old friend, well he's not old but I've known him for a few years. We went out for a drink and being the gentleman he is, he drove and I was able to drink. We had a really good time catching up on what had be going on in the last couple of years, since we had seen each other last and even made up a new religion, Jedi, but more about that later.

After the pub closed we called into a friend of mine whose birthday it was. A few more drinks with him and then home. I think I had about 6 or 7 vodka's, an amount which wouldn't usually effect me but there must be something strange about drinking on a Monday night as I felt very drunk.

Tuesday morning was a bit of a blur and although I had promised my friend we would go to the gym, I just couldn't face it so I sat in her house drinking coffee, trying to clear my head.

You would have thought I would have relived Tuesday again since I wasn't really with it all day, but no I think I must have taken it completely out of my week which is why I've been one day ahead.

Wouldn't it be good if all Tuesdays were gone and only had a 4 day working week, well we could leave in the ones that landed on the last day of the month cause thats when I get paid.

Monday's you would get out of bed feeling alot better knowing you only had 3 more day till the weekend and Wednesdays would be great because they would come a day earlier.

So, from now on, don't make any arrangements for Tuesdays, they will soon be a thing of the past.

Update:

I just did a search for Jedi and found there is already a religion called 'Jedi' and it's quite popular. here is what it says regarding the religion on Wikipedia:

England and Wales
In England and Wales 390,127 people (0.7 percent) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms, surpassing Sikhism, Judaism, and Buddhism, and making it the fourth largest reported religion in the country. The highest percentages of such responses were typically in cities with high student populations.[10] In the 2001 Census 2.6 percent of the population of Brighton claimed to be Jedi.

The percentages of religious affiliations were:
Christian: 72.0%
No religion: 14.8%
Chose not to respond: 7.7%
Muslim: 3.1%
Hindu: 1.1%
Jedi: 0.7%
Read more here

Slug Sex

Ever wondered how slugs make babies? It's quite fascinating.

Ringcraft Classes Around Bristol

I've noticed a few visitors have come to my blog via a search for ringcraft classes so I thought it may be a good idea to put a few more contact details regarding the ones I have found. I know it's a bit late for Crufts but there is always next year!

The Burnham training classes are held on Monday nights and start at about 8.15pm. They are held in the scouts hut which is behind the rugby club house. The map below should help you to find it.

Another one has just started up again after taking a break for the winter. It is run in the village hall in Norton Malreward on Wednesday nights from 7.30pm.

Norton Malreward is a little village just past Whitchurch (going out of Bristol) off Norton Lane. Turn right by the children's park, into Norton lane, carry straight until the road forks and take the left fork. The hall is on the left near to the other end of the village.

View Larger Map

Maybe see you at the Norton Malreward one next Wednesday.

How Many Swallows?

While writing a post for my other blog, Plymouth's Pilgrims, I looked at the Plymouth Argyle football site to see what was being said about yesterday's game.

One sentence which made me smile was this by Paul Sturrock:

"One swallow does not make a summer"

I'm sure all the men will be pleased about that!

Why the big smile Paul?

Just Another Friday Night

She walked in from the outside area where they had been banished and draped her arms around his neck. “You ok luvvy?” she asked.

He turned looked at her then stood up, picked up his chair, so it towered above her head and went to throw it across the room. She quickly moved around him so she was stood in-between him and the rest of the room.

“What the fuck are you doing? Put that chair down!” she shouted. He did as she told him but his eyes were fixed on someone across the room. She followed his gaze and found a stocky lady in her 40’s sat on her usual stool staring back at him. Abusive words were exchanged between the man and lady as they both started to move towards each other.

Friends of the two surrounded each of them in an attempt to ease the situation. She being a friend of both of them had to decide who she was going to stand with. She moved towards the woman and tried to tell her he was not worth it. He was young and drunk and not worth getting into any kind of argument with.

The lady, who was also drunk, was repeating the same sentences, in a just about understandable slurred voice, over and over. “He can’t say things like that about my dog. My dog comes in here all the time. He can’t say things like that”

All the while, Gus, who hadn’t been in there for a while and gets quite violent when he’s had a drink, decided it was his role to take a stand for the morals of all men and started telling the man just what he thought of him for picking the chair up against the lady, who was now on her way out of the room to go to the banished spot.

Now the argument was not just between the man and the lady but the man and his friends and Gus and his friends.

This was when the man in charge of the place decided he should walk around to where all the noise was coming from to find out what was happening. He had timed his walk to perfection. By the time he got there the friends of the two bickering men had diffused the situation and things were calmer. Now they were all stood around happily analysing what had just happened as if they just watched Plymouth Argyle beat Bristol City on the wide screen TV.

Time for another drink.

Friday Fun Night

So who will it be?

Maybe you?

Or you?

Or even you?

No.

You are all going to have to wait until next time.

I'm having too much fun to be even considering it.

Taking about fun, it's Friday which means it's time to go out to play!

Anti-Freeze Anniversary

For all you men who have been with that someone special for 7 years you had better watch out.

It is a known fact that after seven years of living with the same person there's nothing you would like better than to get rid of them. Many just leave for a newer model. Some leave to start life on the single scene again, free to take home and experience new pleasures with whoever they want. While others take it a step further.

Poor Kate now faces a long time without money

Take Kate Knight for example. She and Lee had been married for the dreaded 7 years to the day when she tired to kill him with curry. Lee must have thought that she had cooked him the meal for their 7th anniversary out of love and devotion, but Kate had other reasons for the meal. You see curry has a strong flavour and so must have hid the taste of the anti-freeze she had added to the special dinner.

Lee don't look too happy but at least he's still here

I don't know who Kate’s solicitor was and why they didn't just say she was having a period at the time and didn't know what she was doing, but poor Kate has just been found guilty of attempted murder, she was hoping to get her hands on her Lee's life insurance.

As 29th February approaches all men should be on their guard for women out to catch someone with a large insurance policy or this could be you in 7 years time.

So who's going to be out in Bristol this Friday night??

Glasgow Day Rider

I must stop finding blogs I like. I tend to stay far too long reading them and forget what I was looking for in the first place.

Tonight I spent ages reading Bloodbus. A blog, which has also been published in book form, written by a bus driver in Glasgow, Scotland. The post I enjoyed most was Gollum's Funeral.

Four dinners and Not a Mince in Sight

I just had the pleasure of reading Four Dinners Blog. It's written by a man who doesn't mince his words and likes a good riot.

Go over and take a look, you won't be disappointed, well you may if you're a traffic warden!

Did You Know 1

Did you know:

It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.

Close Call

I just received an email from Tim which I thought I would share with you. (If you click on the photo's they are a lot clearer)

'Read Caption on 1st photo then look at second photo'

Look at the picture above and you can see where this guy broke through the guardrail, right side where the people are standing on the road (pointing). The pick-up was traveling from right to left when it crashed through the guardrail. It flipped end-over-end, across the culvert outlet, and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert, facing the opposite direction from which he was traveling.

Now look at the 2 nd picture below...

If this guy didn't believe in God before, do you suppose he believes now?

Thanks Tim.

Rod Stewart - Reason To Believe

One of my favorites by Rod. I was lucky enough to be there and see him sing this live.

Linkbait

I was doing a gereral surf around the web and I came across this site.

On the site I found this Map.

Which is supposed to bring thousands of visitors to your site. Well we'll see.

Pompey v Argyle FA Cup 2008-01-26

Plymouth played a great game and were unlucky not to win the game. Was a really good game to watch and reminded me why I support Plymouth Argyle.

Hair Doggie Style

I've started to take the puppies, Summer and Dani, to ringcraft training to get them ready for the show ring. The closest one to my house, which I know of, is at Burnham, which is about a 45 minute drive. The first couple of times I only took Summer and it wasn't a very nice trip as Summer was travel sick both times. The third time I took a friend with me which ment I could take Dani too. This time both dogs were fine and slept most of the way.

Summer is getting more used to big dogs now and on our last trip walked up and down the carpet. Dani walked half way and stopped dead, refusing to move any further. This was quite good for her first time and I'm sure next week she will be more confident and make it to the end of the carpet.

One of my other puppies, Ollie, who now lives with Wendy and her family, also goes to the same training and I managed to take a lovely photo of him.

I'll try and get some photo's of Summer and Dani sporting their new hair styles. For the show ring, Shih Tzu's have to have their hair up in a top knot and I was lucky to find a web site where they sold the very small bands needed. The site is called TurnHaria Pet Products and they sell a wide range of doggie goods including, Fashionable hair accessories, Grooming sets, Dog beds, items for new puppies and lots more so click on the link and go and take a look.

The Longpigs - On and On

Another band I like.

FA Cup Draw - Visit to Pompey Already Planned

Do you believe in fate?
A friend texted me this at the weekend:
"Two nil to the Super Saints. Bring on Portsmouth. Actually better not"
The Super Saints he was referring to was Southampton football club. Yes I know they're not that supper at the moment, but that's not the point. Then today we had the draw for the next round of the FA cup. Did Southampton get Portsmouth away? No, we did, Plymouth Argyle.

Who did Southampton get? Well they got a home game against either struggling Championship team Norwich or Bury who are currently at 18th place in league two. Knowing Southampton's luck they will get Bury.

There is one good thing to come out of the draw, I get to go visit my daughter two weeks earlier than planned and watch the Portsmouth/Plymouth game, I had already arranged to visit on the 16th Feb to watch the Southampton/Plymouth game. Now I have two trips to make in two weeks.

We Don't Talk Anymore

I was just flicking around the channels on TV and this song shouted out at me. The video is very cheesy but the message is clear.



We Don't Talk Anymore (Remastered)